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Gratitude is the Attitude that Changes Everything

Let me tell you a little bit about how a phone call with my Mom about me moving to Nashville ended up with me in tears talking about how I feel so distant from the Lord even though I TRY. SO. HARD. I have always been naturally obedient and I seek to "do the right thing" in any given situation. I never realized how this could translate in a negative way to my relationship with the Lord. I always feel like things should be going well because I am doing what is "good" and "right" but that slips into legalism so quickly. When it comes down to it, I am struggling because I lost Eden and more than that, I don't feel like I deserved it.

I can (wrongly) compare my situation to other people's and wonder how their life seems to be going so smoothly compared to mine. Our life looks almost nothing like I imagined it would. I certainly thought we would have our own home and I would have a nanny to help with the kids. I pictured myself being able to go to the grocery store daily and dream up what a beautiful dinner I could make that day without any budget to speak of. I was so sure we would have traveled all over Europe by now, I am sure you get the picture, and probably can relate in some way. Basically, I thought life was supposed to be easy, and that has not turned out to be the case.

As I sat in the carpool lane waiting for Roman, blubbering over the phone with my Mom, she calmly empathized with me and also advised me to chase after gratitude. And let me tell you, in that moment I was so discouraged I could think of maybe one thing I was grateful for. She challenged me to dive deep and think of both big and small things. The health of my family, the car I drive, the parking spot I am able to find that's close to the entrance, shelter, the ability to dream, passion, a hard-working husband, everything. I agreed to practice this habit and my perspective has shifted so much this past week. I am grateful to have a Mom who is so wise and so willing to share her wisdom and encourage me. I realize this is a precious gift that I am so blessed to be able to share here. These are things I will never take for granted.

Do any of you feel discouraged in this way? You can always comment here, or for prayer requests head to the "Someday Says" section on the website and I am always eager to be in prayer with and for you!

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