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You Can't Go Around It

I am a creature of comfort to a severe extent. I do not like to be outside of my comfort zone, I like my routine, I like control and I work very hard to keep it. Last week, I got on an airplane for the first time in two years. Part of the reason I hadn't traveled is because of money, the other (main) part is because I avoid it at all costs. My brain is not afraid of traveling, I know that there is such a small chance of anything going wrong and I truly have nothing to worry about. My body is a whole different story. Days before, I begin to get anxious and travel tummy sets in. During the whole trip, I'm cautious of what I eat just to make sure I feel alright on the return flight. It's ridiculous and exhausting, but it's the reality I'm currently working through.

At 1am on the morning of our return flight, I found myself in the bathroom feeling absolutely terrible, trying to devise a plan to get home that didn't involve getting on that plane. I thought about changing our rental car reservation and driving the 14 hours home, thankfully Matthew encouraged me that the flight was going to be okay, and it was. But in that moment it hit me so hard that there are some things you just have to go THROUGH. I know I cannot grow in this area if I continue trying to avoid the discomfort. At some point, it takes a conscious decision to go from being the victim to being the victor. Doing the hard thing looks different for everyone, but it will always make us better.

The trip was worth all the stress, by the way. I got to see my cousin get married at the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to and the kids had an absolute blast. I don't think I'll be able to wait two whole years for our next trip, we have a whole world to see!

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